Save you
by ginster-huendchen
Summary: Fay thinks about his role in this story, talking to Kurogane, who's asleep and so not able to anwer in anyway. Will Fay find any answers concerning his questions? SPOILER: well... you have to know EVERYTHING. :D
1. Chapter 1

Interpret: Emily Autumn  
Song: Save you  
Fandom: Tsubasa RC  
Genre: thoughtful / songfic / a little bit parental

Author's comments:  
Well there are not many fictions written in Fay's point of view... okay, and IF... there sure is no songfic! XD Okay I'm so hopeless! ...anyway:  
enjoy him, thinking of how he got loving his travel-companions.

**Save you**

_Chapter one_

"Sleep well, Kuro-sama!"  
With a gentle smile Fay swept one of the black strands out of Kuroganes face. The ninja didn't move just an inch while he was within a deep sleep. Some empty bottles were standing on the table in front of him. Fay moved from the sofa to remove them - it wouldn't be a lovely sight for the kids next morning.  
Smiling he grabbed two of the bottles and went to the kitchen to rinse them. It was deep night and he still wasn't able to find any sleep. It was so annoying! But still... he enjoyed watching the other one sleeping. Watching his raising and slowly sinking chest and listening to his quiet breath really was a becalming thing. Just a few days ago Fay noticed he started liking the other man in a special way and even the princess and Syaoran became precious to him somehow... He knew it was no good to be so close to them but he couldn't avert it. Those three were people someone really HAD to love, no matter what.  
His smile faded by remembering his task in the big deal. Every time he remembered he was the one having to kill Syaoran and even Kurogane something in his stomach felt like constricting till it hurt.  
Slowly he turned on the water and let it flow into the bottles. He watched the water rising till it overcrowded and ran down the glass. It flooded like his feelings. He felt so much he thought he wouldn't be able to remember since the journey began. It was unbelievable. Really.

_How do I save you from a fate so sweet_

With a sigh he turned off the water and turned around, so he could take a look at the sofa and the sleeping ninja again. Fay winked. Kurogane seemed to have something like sweet dreams - even if he didn't like sweet things - his face looked so relaxed. The blonde one raised the corners of his mouth again. This man could look nearly adorable. Did he know?  
No, that was for sure.  
Even if he was the one of them always protecting them with all his strength he himself was worth it being protected by someone. Fay was the one making that wish. He wanted to protect Kurogane from something he didn't know he was at risk with. And even the two children. Yeah, every time he started making those stupid family-jokes he wished this could get reality. It sure would be nice with a family like this.  
A father protecting everyone and being with them with all his heart.  
A son being taught by his father and having the same gentle heart.  
A daughter caring for everyone and making everyone smile... and Fay himself as the caring mother.  
Yes that really was something like a wish he would visit Yuuko for once more!

_As being torn to pieces by a loving hand_

But he knew this wish would never be granted. It was too expensive to pay the price for the ultimate happy live, that was for sure.  
With one more sigh Fay pushed himself off the kitchen unit, switched the light off and went to the living room again, where he turned the lights off, too.  
The moon threw a soft light through the windows so Fay still was able to watch Kuroganes sleeping face. In front of him the magician sat down on the floor. He raised one hand to touch him, but only a few millimetres before he stopped. Kurogane would notice, wouldn't he? If he woke up, he would leave the room. He would leave Fay alone with the night and his worries and thoughts. Fay didn't want to be alone with such things. This sorrow was like a monster. A demon. A big, frightening demon raising it's claws to let him bleed. It was a pain. But when someone was with him, especially Kurogane, the demon stayed away from him. It was like he was protected by him.  
He smiled.  
Noticing this fact was linked with noticing something warm glowing in his heart. It felt like joy. And something else...

_How do I save you from a voice so soft_

Again Fays thoughts drifted away to develop a plan for avoiding those things coming in the near standing future. Some of those bad things could even happen tomorrow. Or some days later. Or in a few weeks. But it was the best if they wouldn't happen at all!  
No one but he himself was allowed to die in his own plans... Okay, his OWN plans. But he invented them all without thinking of Kurogane.  
Kurogane put a spoke in his wheel by bringing home the message he wouldn't allow him to die. Fay was not allowed to die. It was not he couldn't die - it was that he wouldn't die. Kurogane said that. These were his words.  
He told him, that he was the only one allowed to kill him, no matter in what dimension they would be. So Fay would have to wait till the Shinobi felt like cutting his liveline.  
Fay had to put a new order on his plans.  
He was forced to live on, so they needed a new pattern.

_As that which acquiesces to your each demand_

While thinking, Fay grabbed the third and last bottle from the table and swayed it from one side to the other. There was one more slug of Sake left. Tse, pity Kurogane didn't make it. So Fay had to drink it himself.  
With his head hardly noticeable shaking he set the bottle to drink it. Slowly the last bit of alcohol flew into his mouth. Even when it was cold from out of the bottle it felt nearly hot inside his stomach. His lips didn't let go off the bottle so he stayed in this position for a few more thoughts.  
Would he be able to protect them all? To save them?  
He winked and looked against the ceiling. It was pure white and the moonlight drew some strange patterns on it together with the woodchip wallpaper. It was a mixture between an ordinary and a strange sight.  
After some more seconds, felt like hours, he moved forward again and removed the bottle from his mouth, noticing again that it was truly empty. What a pity in an inconsistent way.

_How do I look upon the eyes I love_

He knew alcohol was not the best way to turn things right. In fact... it was NO WAY. But it benumbed him for a couple of hours and gave him a blessed sleep, so it wasn't all that bad. He gazed at the bottle's etiquette and it really looked like he was reading the few letters written on it but in fact he wasn't able to read the signs of this country so he only looked at it. His head was horribly empty. It was like that feeling when something bad happened and you don't know how to handle that situation. He wished himself away. Away from everything and everyone.  
Somehow, the last pull made him think of all that in a philosophical way. Okay, he already did, but this was more like that... if something like that was possible.  
He somehow started LOVING the other ones. So if he died, he wasn't able to be with them anymore. So he wouldn't be able to cuddle cute Mokona. He wouldn't have any chance to be there for Sakura-chan or for Syaoran-kun.  
And Kurogane... he would have to drink alone in the evenings. He would have to talk to himself. There would be no more stupid questions he had to answer, to ask back and find out about Fay and his stupid story. Yes, he would miss that.  
So dying was a bad way escaping the game.  
He sulked a little.

_and send them down this path, I know it isn't right?_

"What do you think, Kuro-puu?"  
Fay leaned forward to lean his elbows on the sofa's edge staring at the ninja's face again,  
"Should I tell you?"  
He smiled.  
"If you were awaken now, you would nod, right? But if I tell you... would you kill me then or would you help me avoiding all that?"  
He raised one hand, to finally touch him noticing he still wasn't moving at all.  
"You wouldn't like what I've done. I'm such a weak freak..."  
The magician raised his eyebrows. He felt like sitting here for hours. One night could be so long! It was impossible... and it was freaky... talking to a sleeping person, because he was afraid of his reaction. Yeah, that was weak. Really weak. Ashura-ou always was talking about kindness. Fay's kindness. Such a stupid thought! He wasn't kind at all!  
Okay... he was... a little. But only, because NO ONE in any dimension would ever be able to hurt Sakura. No one was.  
He smiled again.

_How do I make you realize my love?_

It was unfair, noticing that he wasn't like he somehow wanted to. He had to accept his kindness. Fay was kind.  
Fay nodded at his thought, winking, staring at Kuroganes face with his big, blue eyes. Somehow he wished him to look back now. To say something. To act a little strange for his typical behaviour. Anything totally... non-Kurogane. Something loving.  
Would someone like Kurogane be able to touch something or someone in a careful way?  
Fay couldn't imagine something like that. He had often touched him, but still he didn't know how his skin felt. Was it soft or more like blank leather? He often chased him around, shouted at him, squeezed him against walls... but they never really touched. Never.  
Fay waged his head. That was unbelievable! He took a deeper breath and his fingertips softly went down the other's cheek. It felt softer than he expected. And it was warm. He wanted to touch more of that skin. But... was it alright?  
Kurogane didn't wake up but... Fays glance analysed the other's face. There was no twitch, no move, nothing but a really deep sleep.

_That there is more to fear than strangers in the night_

He sighed.  
Pity.  
It would have been fun, if he woke up to grumble at him as a warning for something he would never do. Fays smile suddenly came back with a wonderful thought:  
Kuro-sama always told him he would hit him, kill him, behead him, slit him open... anyway. Fay never stopped bothering him and he never got killed in any way. Kurogane never did anything trying to do so. He always grumbled and fold his arms.  
So... he maybe didn't want to kill him.  
Did he promise to do so back then, to make Fay waiting for HIM to do it so he could avoid his death? Was that possible?  
If it was like this in any way... he probably liked him... a little bit...?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

Yeah, it could be possible. Fay already had noticed that Kurogane hated it, not being able to protect someone.  
Just like he himself said: "I protect those being with me. If someone tries to attack them, I kill him. If someone attacks me, I kill him, too..."  
But he also told him, that he was not proud of his own way of living. Maybe he was the same? Could that be? Did he blame himself for something, just like Fay did? Maybe that was the reason for his wish to protect everyone around him. It sounded nearly a little childish and cute, but it was a heart's desire, wasn't it?  
"Hmmm..."  
Fays fingertips started caressing up and down the other one's cheek he was still thinking about,  
"...seems we're the same somehow, Kuro-rin."  
He smiled,  
"But I can tell you, there's something different! I'm the pretender... you're the honest soul. You can say anything, I know, I'm right with this."

_How do I save you?_

"So now... you're the big guardian between us - tell me how to save you."  
His eyes send a glance to the sleeping one, sampling his skin and his reactions... if there were some.  
"Pity you can't tell me. Should I ask you later?"  
The fingertips went up to the black hair toying with a strand,  
"You'd ask back before you give me an answer. I know you..."  
Suddenly Kurogane's breath seemed becoming inconstant. Did he wake up?  
Fay hold his breath and pulled his hand away quickly. He watched the other one's face, noticing he was about to wake up. He took a glimpse at the wall clock. It was deep night... maybe he woke up because he heard him talking? Oh no...  
He heard the chesty voice, mumbling something he couldn't understand. It was only a matter of seconds before Kurogane would notice him...  
"Didn't sleep well, Kuro-pon?"  
"How could I, noticing your voice?!"  
Kurogane lifted his body to turn so he could lay on his back now. His left arm hang down from the sofa's edge and he turned his head, so he could look at the blonde one, sitting on the floor near him. He blinked inertly.  
"You interrupted my sleep..."  
"You should kill me know, right?"  
Fay grinned.

_How do I set you free?_

"I would... but I'm too tired..."  
"Aw... Kuro-doggy is tired? Pity."  
"Pity what?"  
"Well... poor Kuro-doggy!"  
"Shut up!"  
Kurogane closed his eyes again, still awaken and listening to the other one, edgy wiggling about.  
"You can't sit still, can you?"  
he grumbled.  
"Hmmmm..."  
Fay bumbled,  
"...don't you want to go to bed?"  
"I don't need a pillow, so why should I?"  
"Hm..."  
The blonde one screwed up his mouth, still staring at Kurogane's face. It didn't look relaxed anymore like when he slept. He looked fraught like always.  
"Maybe you need a blanket?"  
"It's warm enough..."  
"So you don't need anything?"  
"Not now."  
A minute of silence. Fay bowed his head, looking at the carpet he was sitting on. Slowly his fingers caressed the cotton. It felt soft and a little bit warm. So there would be no problem with sleeping on the floor, wouldn't it?  
"How'bout you...?"  
"Mh?"  
He raised his head again with an asking glance.  
"Aren't you cold?"  
"I don"t need a blanket, too."  
"You stupid Idiot."

_Behind the curtain waits a darker world_

"Mh?"  
Fay mindfully looked up again. He smiled like always. It was a light but somehow cold smile - in Kurogane's opinion - even if it were his eyes, expressing if his smile should be warm or cold. Now, it was cold.  
The cold eyes watched the ninja moving, stared at him when he sat up to lean against the backrest. He fold his arms, lust like always, and after a few seconds he opened his eyes again to look back.  
"You thought about sleeping on the floor?" "  
"Hyuuu! You read my thoughts, Kuro-sama!"  
The smile became wider,  
"How did you do that?"  
In fact, Fay was a little bit scared about what came next. Kurogane really knew, what he was thinking about. He thought about sleeping here on the floor. But not for being in his way... for being NEAR him. So the bad nightmare-monster would stay away from him, like it always did, when Mokona or Kurogane where near him.  
"There's nothing special."  
Kurogane still looked tired. The day before really was a hard day and it was the only dimension since long where they had some time to relax. Fay saw that the other one really needed time to rest.  
"I only have to look at your face. You are freakish billable. I can sense, what you could be thinking... but WHY..."  
Kurogane glanced at the blond one still smiling at him like always.  
"So... you have any idea for me to find a warm place to sleep?"  
The ninja raised an eyebrow, when he heard Fay talking,  
"That was a joke, wasn't it? Go to bed!"  
"But you don't go to bed, too - so why should I?"  
"Do you have any better idea?"

_If I can't make you leave_

"Well..."  
Fays eyes sent a look at the ceiling again. What should he say or do?  
He didn't want to go to bed now. When he would go now, he wouldn't be near his unaware guardian, so he would have bad dreams again. Fay hated bad dreams. Often he woke up, bathed in sweat, breathing heavily. It was aggravating. Every morning.  
"How about sleeping together?"  
"WHA-"  
Fay stood up to turn around and sit down next to the other one. Without asking he clinged to Kurogane, closing his eyes just half, so he could notice the other one's reaction. He imagined his railing, but the shinobi sat still. Nothing.  
Some seconds of silence passed.  
"You want to tell me you need something to cuddle?"  
"Hm... no, but I need warmth."  
Fay raised his head and leaned it on Kurogane's shoulder, watching his expressions again. He seemed thoughtful and somehow soft. Maybe he really was too tired to get angry this time? Fay didn't know. And he disbelieved Kurogane himself would know. So he didn't ask about it - it only would mean a bad discussion.  
"Don't you come from north? You're used to cold places!"  
Kurogane argued but Fay shook his head,  
"Yeah, I came from a northern country but I was dressed with warm clothes! The clothes of this country are... well... thin?"  
He smiled doubtful.

_How can I save you from me?_

Kurogane sighed closing his eyes again. He laid an arm around the blonde's shoulders.  
"Sleep. The next day is about to come... with much work."  
Fay wasn't sure, but he guessed noticing another sigh from Kurogane. So the ninja really was... tired. Tired of all this. Tired of him?  
"Are you not angry?"  
"Hm?"  
Fay blinked. He was surprised seeing the other one's face getting relaxed again,  
"I'm cuddling you... Kuro-puu."  
He alluded. But Kurogane's face didn't change.  
"Because you're cold."  
"So you really are too tired to chase me this time?"  
The magician gave him a warm smile, even if he couldn't see it, Fay was sure, he'd notice.  
"Everyone needs some warmth..."  
"You're an idiot."  
"That was MY part...!"


End file.
